breastfeeding woes

Ugh, its so very frustrating to be back in this place again. I was warned that stress can be hard on milk supply, and with moving and such, I was cautious, drinking all my water and taking fenugreek. I think a couple days before the move we took Lucas in for a check up and the doctor said he was still a tiny bit jaundace. She said its usually caused by breastfeeding and that the only way to tell would be to stop, and pump for a week and feed him formula instead. If he isnt jaundace, that means theres no underlying liver issues.

So after the move, I tried pumping, and realized my supply was super low. Like 1 oz per side. So I stopped, tried having him breastfeed every time he wanted, which was all day long, and nothing changed.

Its so disheartening. I was doing so well for so long and then bam! I'm back in a place where I was with Sadie. I'm so depressed right now because this time I actually enjoyed it, and it was easy, and I felt such a bond with my little guy. Some days I feel like a total failure cause its happened again for the second time.

I dont know what to do, supply is still low, I dont know if its worth trying to get back up. I dont know if anything I do will fix it cause its so low. I have good days where I am ok with quitting and then I have days where I wonder if I'm giving up too easy. The day I took to have him eat all day was so hard. He cried all the time and probably cause he was hungry and not getting enough. It broke my heart. Pumping has never really helped me increase supply, and I dont know if I can do it on prescription drugs and herbal stuff.

I might try again. Hes gotta go in for his blood work to make sure hes fine, but hes not yellow at all to me so I'm sure hes fine. After that, I might load up on pills and be a human cow for a while, pumping and feeding all the time. I dont know.

Anyhoo, if any of you know of someone who could get their supply from 1oz per side to much higher, let me know. It might encourage me to continue. 

House tour: Kitchen / Dining Area

Since moving, the first room I've unpacked completely was the kitchen/dining room area. It was so much fun. I mean, everything has a place now Its not all crammed into tiny places all mishmashed together. Also, I have been lent this beauty for a while. She's just wonderful. You havent really lived until you've baked a batch of cookies with one of these. I'm already want one of my own now.

I have a normal sized oven! Hurrah!

 

 Isnt this the most prettiest dish you ever did see? While unpacking the kitchen, I found a small unmarked box that I did not pack. Curious, I opened it and found new kids clothes (thanks momma) and under all that, I found this and another casserole dish. I have been on the hunt for vintage pyrex, and never thought I'd ever have one of this set. Its my favorite set of all, and there it was in my kitchen. You should have seen me, bouncing around like a kid at Christmas. I couldnt believe it. I called my mom thinking she had bought it for me at a thrift store and packed it with new clothes for the kids. Nope, she didn't buy it. She got it from my grandma in Alberta who they visted the week before. My mom mentioned to her that I needed casserole dishes, and my grandma went to her cupboard and grabbed 2 of hers for me. This was one of them. I so miss my grandma. She has some mail coming her way soon!

 Fridge, big enough to store all the groceries that I need.

I love my ikea cube shelf. Sadie has her toys in the bottom boxes, and books up a little higher.

Sadie and Lucas' toys. Ugh, didn't realize that her giraffe is looking kinda grody on its feet. Laundry time!

This little book is Tootles the Taxi. Sadie is not allowed to play with this one. It sits on the higher shelves. It was mine and my sisters when we were little. Came from the discard bin from a public library. My mom would do all the voices for the different cars and trucks and things. Awesome book.

So thats my kitchen dining room tour. I'll try and clean up more to show you the rest of the place.

Oh, and did you really think my house was that clean? Its all trickery and deceit. See...

I wont even show you the living room -- which has a laundry basket and laundry thrown all over the floor courtesy of Sadie.

Dear Lucas

2 months old already!

You're not as fussy as you used to be. You still love to be held though, and you love laying in my lap when I sit crosslegged on the couch.

You are very much a morning baby. I get to listen to you talk in the mornings, its wonderful! Ahhh gooo is the cutest noise you make.

You're growing into 3-6 month clothes, and I'm sure that in no time you'll out weigh your sister.

I adore your sticky uppy hair, it tickles my chin when I hold you.

Your sister loves you, she tries to help with you. I've caught her trying to give your eye or nose a soother when you are upset. She also desperatly wants to hold you some days. I'm sure you'll be good buddies.

She loves you so much, she wants to share everything with you.

moved!

Sorry its been a while, we've moved and are finally getting all settled in. Moving was stressful, and took a while. We ended up finding a lot of stupid little things that needed fixing when we moved in, for example, doors that were broken, all the door knobs are loose, and stuff like that. I like this place though. I'm most excited about the kitchen. Its big and has a dishwasher. I've only been doing dishes by hand since 2003, so its awesome. My glasses only sparkled like this when they came out of the box. When I washed them and put them away, I had to stand back and admire them, all pretty like.

There's also a washer and dryer! Both kiddlets are in cloth diapers (except at night), and so far its no big deal. I'm going to slowly add to my stash so that I dont have to do laundry as often, but its not bad. I've dealt with poop explosions (a whole nother post) and I've lived. Poop doesnt phase me any more. Not that it ever did really.

Our kitchen table kicked the crapper during the move. I kinda figured it would. It was a freebie, and I knew its legs were wobbly. So I'm on the hunt for a table, and maybe even some new chairs, for before Christmas. I'm hosting Christmas Dinner for Tony's family and I'm so excited. I havent been able to do that until now.

So I'll be back with photos and such later. My camera batter needs to charge. I'll be back soon!

Goodbye tiny apartment

We've spent 4 wonderful years here. It was our first real home in the city. Now we're off to our new place in surrey. I still am not 100% happy with being in surrey, but thats life,and I'm sure I'll get used to it. 

Things I won't forget at our current place:

The clattering of the grocery carts going down the alley way as people rummage through the recycling.
The roar of huge air planes going over head.
The really sweet neighbours that we had.
The first place we brought Sadie home to.
Christmas as a family of three.
Watching Sadie grow up for her first year here.
Being on bedrest here.
Bringing Lucas home.

I will update you all on our new place when we get the internet hooked up again :) 

Moving day commeth

The end is in sight! Its a happy/stressful time here in our apartment. Moving day is on the 15th! I'm so excited to get out of our very cramped space. Right now sipping on my starbucks cup filled with water while blogging from my mattress in the middle of the living room floor. I'm surrounded by furniture, boxes, and odd and ends of things that should be packed away.  Our current living situation is now this; Lucas stays in the living room with us, and Sadie has taken over our bedroom. During the day, there isnt much place to play, so Sadie and I play on the mattress, and Lucas watches from his bouncy seat (one of my favorite second hand purchases).

I've been packing all week, and just ran out of boxes and packing tape today. Luckily, my sister in law Beth is coming over tomorrow to help,and I can get the rest of the odds and ends finished. I've tried to stay organized, but I'll still end up sorting stuff, and throwing stuff out after we move.

This week, Lucas smiled his first real smile at me. Made me melt inside. Sadie also says "BUM!" more like "BUHH!" when I ask for a diaper for Lucas, or if she sees the rolled up used diaper that I havent thrown out yet.

So I'll try and take more interesting photos of the move and such, but here is the best one of his smile (he gets distracted by the pretty pink rectangle near his face most times, so I was lucky to get this one before he started starring at the phone).

Homemade Chai Tea Recipe

This week I've been asked to do a guest post on Larissa's blog, and so as its fall now, I've posted my favorite fall drink; Chai Tea. So click here to pop on over for the recipe.

a very long day

Thursday was the first day I went out of the apartment alone with both kids. We had doctors appointments to get to and Lucas was running low on disposable diapers, like we're talking 2 left. Had to really gear up mentally to get ready to take them both out.

It was fortunate that Lucas slept through Sadie's breakfast. I could focus on finding missing shoes, a coat that would fit Sadie, and hats for them. Just leaving the apartment was hard work. Lucas was in the moby wrap, diaperbag was over my shoulder, and Sadie held my hand as we made our way down the stairs to the stroller. Sadie did well, she slid down the stairs. Really excited about the prospect of going out, she forgot about the last stair and took a step off and fell down. She was not impressed, and so that meant that I had to carry her and Lucas at the same time while abandoning the diaperbag in the hallway temporarily.

She was calm after a few mintues, and once everyone was buckled in the stroller, we were off. Stroller was kinda tough to steer, and I realized that one of my tires was low on air. BAH! I had to carry on, as we had 3 appointments to make.

Thankfully Tony was able to skip a meeting at work to meet me at the doctors office. I couldnt possible deal with both kids at the doctors without Sadie being strapped into a carseat, and the stroller is way too big for my doctors tiny office.

Cookie break, waiting for daddy to arrive

So Lucas is doing well other than hes still a touch jaundice. She ordered a blood test for him. He's gaining weight well and pooping and such, so she thinks its something with my breast millk and I might need to pump for a week and feed him formula instead. oh joy. I think it will come down to that, but I dread it cause I fear it will decrease my supply. That and I hate pumping. Well, we just have to wait for the test results. Lucas is 10lbs 8 oz, thats a pound in I think 2 weeks or so. Not bad at all.

We missed Sadie's 12 month checkup, so she was also weighed, and she weighs 20lbs. Yep, just 20lbs. Shes only double her brothers weight. She's always been a small girl. Tall,  but small. Shes in the 7th percentile for her age. She's also a little pickey. So shes going to be on a high fat diet. Doctor said to put butter in everything. yum, butter! Im thinking heavy cream, butter, croissants as well as meats and things. Shes just now interested in ground beef. After our appointment, she shared my teen burger with me and she liked it.

She had her shots, which was so sad. She cried hard and was not herself the rest of the day. Tony does the shots part, which I'm so glad for, cause I cannot stand to watch let alone hold them down.

After all the poking and prodding and crying, we got on the skytrain to head home. Both kids did well on transit, no crying or screaming. I was so thankful for that cause I was out of clean soothers. Sadie tossed both of them on the floor at the doctors office -- ew.

what's new? We're moving!

Sadie also learned to colour, and now she wants to colour everything

Yes, that's right, our little family of 4 is MOVING! After crazily house hunting for a place over the last 2 months, we found one. We'll be renting the upstairs of a house. I'm so relieved. We've got 3 bedrooms, and we're excited. I've been packing like stink to get this going. We get the place October 15th, so I'll be away a lot the next couple weeks.

I'm excited to move. I'm ready to be out of this cramped apartment. 2 Kids in a one bedroom just for the last week has been rough. So, off I go, I'm Space Bagging all our linens and things today, and then packing books and things.

Also, if you haven't checked out my super cute giveaway, please do so, and enter HERE.