I'm baaack!

Even though there are blog posts up, they've all been scheduled. Its been a nice break, but I've missed blogging on here.

Lately all I've been doing is feeding/sleeping/zoning out in front of the tv. I've also been lurking all the blogs I read. They keep me awake while I feed Lucas. I haven't commented on things like I used to, cause when I do, its usually some strange sleep deprived thing that doesnt really make sense. You might start seeing midnight comments from me soon though :) Sleep is getting better- kind of. Lucas wakes up every 3-3.5 hours on the dot, and then at 6 am and 7am. This means that mornings are extra fun. Its during those times that I sit there on the bed and pray that I don't fall asleep, and then fall off the bed.

Lucas is a pretty happy baby. Every day he gets the hiccups, sometimes 2-3 times a day. He's also christened Tony and I, but Tony's story is one for another day. He also started having more awake time this morning. He was alert, and wide eyed, and very content to watch the trees out the window. Sadie is getting used to him more and more. This morning she wanted to share her blocks with him. She toddled over with her bag of blocks in hand, smiled at me, and then dropped them on his head. Thankfully, I caught them before they really hurt him. It didnt phase him, so that was good.

We've got our first doctors appointment today. I'm really hoping that hes getting enough to eat, and is gaining weight. In the hospital, he went from 9.9lbs to 8.14lbs - which is less than 10% lost, but still concerns me. I'm taking drugs to increase supply, and am going to see about  getting some fenugreek stuff to see about boosting it more. I've also been drinking a ton of liquids, and I'm not a hardcore liquid drinker, so I'm proud of the fact that I've been downing 2 cups of water every feeding, and then some more inbetween.

As far as I go, I'm doing way better than last time, although if I forget to take my pills, I'm achy and sore and then miserable when I have to sit up and feed the little guy. Since I'm so forgetful, I've set 6 alarms for all my pills so that I don't forget. Oh, iPhone, what would I do without you?

So there will be more things to come, I've got photos of the kids to post, just on the hunt for my card reader...its MIA at the moment :P

Good morning! Its Baby Day!

This little one is away on a sleepover and we're on our way to the hospital right now.

Please pray that everything goes smoothly.

We'll update you when he arrives.

[baby update] 38 weeks + a game!

38 weeks pregnant

Today was my very last doctors appointment before the big day. I'm relieved that we are at the end, but at the same time, I'm so nervous about the last part. I'll be nervous up until he's out safely. Even though I've been through this all before.

I dont remember if I had any crazy dreams when I was pregnant with Sadie, but I sure had a doozy last night. This was my dream:

It was the morning of my c-section, and I was getting ready. I went to hop into the tub, and realized it was full of spaghetti sauce. That didn't stop me from getting in, and getting covered in red meat sauce. In my dream, I thought "hopefully the doctors dont mind the smell of garlic". I rinsed off, and headed out the door with Tony.
Tony had persuaded me to take the bus with him to the hospital, and when we got to the stop, he said "oh, butter girl isnt here". He then went on to explain that he could tell if the bus had already left because "butter girl" was not at the stop when we got there. (have no idea what she looked like, or why she was butter girl)  Then we ended up walking to the hospital. We got there, and I told Tony that I bought myself a treat for going through all this, and whipped out the beautiful heart of the ocean necklace from titanic. I told him that I put it on my credit card, and he said "ok, thats cool". Then I put on a lead vest (the ones you put on for an x-ray at the dentist) and then thats when I woke up.

Haven't had a dream like that in a long time.

So my doctors appointment went well. Everything is good to go. Unless this guy decides to arrive in the next 6 days, we are gonna be having a baby on August 23rd in the morning. I haven't had any crazy contractions, just a couple at night last night, but nothing to set the timer for.

So now, lets play a game:

Since we all know its a boy, and the date he's supposed to arrive, the only thing left to guess is how big this boy is gonna be.

Ultrasound

Had my early morning ultrasound today. I had a very nice ultrasound tech check everything out. She showed me baby's smushed up face, and we both had to laugh at how wiggly he was. She showed me his little bum up in my ribs, and he was showing us his testicles. That made me laugh.

Everything is looking good, so I doubt there will be an emergency c-section, unless I go into labor before the 23rd.

[baby update] 37 weeks and 5 days

Doctors appointment: It went really well. Baby is doing well, he measures right on target, and moves all over the place. I'm surprised he hasnt slowed down with the wiggling given that hes running out of room. I mentioned my contractions, and she checked my cervix. Its now dialated 2-3 cm instead of 1-2 cm, so those contractions did something. She told me that if my contractions got to 5 min apart, just come in, and they'll get him outta there as an emergency c-section. I kinda figured that.

The food truck was the highlight of my doctors appointment. I think it was this year that the city of Vancouver allowed more food trucks and less hotdog vendors. Pretty sure that all we had for the longest time were hotdog carts. Who needs a hotdog when you can have mexican food?

This sucker was conveniently placed infront of my bus stop. Annnnd since it was taking FOREVER for my bus to get there, I got in line for a taco. There were burritos, beef, chicken, and I think a vegan one, but I was after one thing...the FISH TACO!  I've been meaning to have one for a while now, and this one did not disappoint. It had deep fried cod, slaw, chipotle mayo and fresh salsa, and it was delightful. I regret not having another one, but my bus finally arrived.

Other than the awesome taco and healthy baby, there isnt too much new with me.

Sleeping isnt fun anymore. My hips haven't been that bad this pregnancy, but in the last week or 2, I've noticed that they are getting super sore. I'm thankful that Tony isnt a light sleeper, because the way I move around in bed, you'd think you were in bed beside a whale.

Oh, and I'm feeling more whale like. This morning I rolled over, and the whole ordeal of it all made Tony snicker at me. I didn't mind only because I'm sure I would have done the same thing if I were in his shoes.

Ultrasound is tomorrow morning, and we'll see how it goes.

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Previous baby updates:

[baby update] week 37

[baby update] week 36 and 5 days

[baby update] week 35 - phone call and a headache

[baby update] week 35

[baby update] week 33

[baby update] week 31

[baby update] week 29

[baby update] week 27

[baby update] week 26

[baby update] week 25

[baby update] week 24

[baby update] week 22

[baby update] week 22 + Surgery

[baby update] week 21

37 week photo

There's my beachball...ahem, I mean baby.

I've got an ultrasound booked for this thursday at the hospital here in Vancouver. They'll be checking amniotic fluid levels to see if they're still measuring a little lower than normal  Praying that everything is ok.

[baby update] 37 weeks

Ok, so this is a baby update a few days early only because I normally now do them after every doctors appointment. So last night, I was sleeping, and woke up not feeling well. Like cramping pain, and such. I figured it would go away, or if it was anything, it would be a rougue contraction. Well, those "rougue" contractions started happening more often. After a couple hours, I timed them, cause what the hell. I was debating going to the hospital, but then I realized that with Sadie, I had these too, and they went away after a few hours. Well, it was a little disappointing, they went away. I probably should have gone in, but in my tired brain, I figured that it would be more hassle to get up, get someone over to babysit, and then go in to the hospital.

So the contractions disappeared like I figured. It took a few hours though, so I'm tired. Sadie woke up only once last night and then she slept until 8 - so nice of her. If they come back though, I'm gonna head to the hospital because I shouldnt let things progress too far.

So little boy, are you going to be early now? I have a feeling you will be.

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Previous baby updates:

[baby update] week 36 and 5 days
[baby update] week 35 - phone call and a headache
[baby update] week 35
[baby update] week 33
[baby update] week 31
[baby update] week 29
[baby update] week 27
[baby update] week 26
[baby update] week 25
[baby update] week 24
[baby update] week 22
[baby update] week 22 + Surgery
[baby update] week 21

[baby update] 36 weeks and 5 days

Today was the big appointment to take out my cerclage. I was a big ball of nerves all the way there.When I'm nervous, I pick at the hangnails or skin on the sides of my thumbs (gross I know). They've been bad all week, but today I made my left thumb bleed today without realizing it.  Thoughts of tugging out a stitch thats embedded in my cervix were not pleasant thoughts, not at all. I tend to let my imagination run wild with things like this.

We got in the little exam room where the nurse told me that the resident would be in to see me first. She was really nice, checked on me and baby - we're both fine. Then my doctor came in to do the procedure. *shudder* All I could think about was that I was in the exam room closest to the waiting room. If I yelled, I might alarm those poor other women, who might think their doctor was killing someone. 

My doctor explained that if it got too painful, I was to let her know. She didnt want to torture me. Very sweet of her.Tony held my hand, and she got the stitch removed and the resident got a show. I didn't yell, and it wasnt as bad as I figured. Uncomfortable as hell, and creepy to listen to her cut the stitch (which is as wide as a curling ribbon) but hey, its better than having an extra hospital visit and a needle in the spine to deal with. I'm a little sore, but nothing crazy. I expect that to go away tomorrow. Cervix is dialated 1 cm, but thats ok, cause its thick and the same length as measured in the ultrasound.

Oh, the ultrasound reports got to her today. Yay! I mentioned the lower fluid levels, and because of that, am getting an appointment booked with the hospital to get another one done before the next appointment.

So, for the next few weeks, I've made it a rule that I'm not going to carry Sadie to her naps, and I'm gonna avoid doing a lot of cooking. Score for having ice-cream in the freezer.

Things I'm thankful for:

Baby tv on youtube - keeps Sadie entertained with short clips of animals and things while I relax.
Frozen burritos - go microwave food
The big box fan - its getting hotter out, and I would melt in this greenhouse of an apartment without it
Parks and Recreation - new show that's like the office. Just got the first 3 seasons, and I'm on season 2
Project Runway - So excited!
For my family - who prays for me throughout all these crazy procedures and appointments.  
My mother in law - she watches my Sadie so that I dont have to lug her to my appointments.
My husband - who calms me down from being super stressed, and who takes care of us after working all day


Still am nervous about the c-section, but there's nothing I can do about it, so I'm gonna try and stop worrying as much. Its nice to have some new (to me) tv shows to watch to keep my over active imagination from freaking me out.

I'll try and take a picture of what my belly looks like tomorrow. To me, it looks like I'm trying to smuggle a beachball under my clothes.

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Previous baby updates:

[baby update] week 35 - phone call and a headache
[baby update] week 35
[baby update] week 33
[baby update] week 31
[baby update] week 29
[baby update] week 27
[baby update] week 26
[baby update] week 25
[baby update] week 24
[baby update] week 22
[baby update] week 22 + Surgery
[baby update] week 21

[baby update] 35 weeks - a phone call and a headache

Today started off just like any other. Tony went to work, Sadie and I hung out - by the way, she now tries to do the Itsy Bitsy Spider when I sing it to her - so cute! Anyways, its now her naptime, I've been resting, crocheting, and having lunch. It was all great and wonderful, until the phone rang.

At first I thought it was the timer I set for the buger I was making, but no, no it was my doctors office in chilliwack. They hadnt seen me in a while, and wanted to follow up- thats fine.

Apparently my ultrasound reports from the hospital in chilliwack were not being faxed to my vancouver doctor. The doctor who needs these ultrasounds. The doctor I asked at every appointment to have the reports sent to!

How do I know this? Well, my chilliwack doctor was making sure someone was following up with me about the low amniotic fluid levels they measured at the last ultrasound. HUH??? I wasnt told any of this, and I'm certain my vancouver doctor would have talked to me about it had she received those reports. So I semi calmly called the hospital, and had them send in the reports that they didn't fax to my vancouver doctor. I'm so BOILING MAD because I asked every time for them to send them to her, and gave the info for my vancouver doctor each time. They nodded and smiled and said they would. LIARS

So now, I'm upset, I'm pretty angry, I'm super worried, and I'm stuck waiting for a phone call to see if things are really urgent.  I'm gonna try and not worry, and drink a ton of water in the meantime. Oh, and Google = not your friend, especially when you look up medical crap.

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Previous baby updates:

[baby update] week 35
[baby update] week 33
[baby update] week 31
[baby update] week 29
[baby update] week 27
[baby update] week 26
[baby update] week 25
[baby update] week 24
[baby update] week 22
[baby update] week 22 + Surgery
[baby update] week 21

its a baking type of day

Its the perfect day today. Not too hot, but cool enough that having the oven on wont kill us all with heat. I probably almost set off the fire alarm today too. A couple days ago, I put in a cheapo frozen pizza, only to discover later that it was cracked in half, and the cheese ooozed all over the bottom of my oven, stinking up the kitchen, and burning cheese to the bottom. I may have forgotten to clean it. whoops...

I turned on the oven, and as I was mixing my ingredients,  I noticed smoke coming up from inside through my elements. Needless to say, muffin baking went on hold as we scraped burnt cheese out of the oven. 

I may have messed up on the recipe a tad, and thats probably the reason they look more like frankin muffins, instead of pretty ones. I used this recipe from the Joy of Baking website, only I forgot to melt the margerine and add it in the mix. I just tossed in a square of margerine that was kinda too soft and melty. Oh well. They still taste great. I also cut down on the sugar so Sadie can eat them. She's big into muffins.

---Oh, I should also mention something from the baby update that I should have addressed. Its not that I'm super impatient for this little guy to come out, no. Its just that I hate huge big needles, hospitals, and thinking about being awake for any type of surgery, no matter now minor. So its not that I want this little guy out faster, its that I'd rather either wait on taking out the stitch, or see if we can get both surgeries (c-section and stitch removal) done at once.If not, I'll live. I'll be praying for a lot of courage to get through it all though. Hopefully, we can get the stitch out at the office--dreading that part, but  its better than a hospital stay.

[baby update] week 35

Ultrasound: It went rather well in my opinion. Babys head is so low though that she couldn't get a proper measurement of how big it is (not that it matters really), but she had to tilt the bed so my legs were higher than my head to see if he would move off of my cervix to get a measurement. No such luck.

Dr appointment: So thats where the interesting part happened. I explained that I had been feeling intense pressure lately. Like, it stops me in my tracks, and makes me feel like I need to lie down now to get his head off of my cervix. So I told her about this pressure (no pain or anything) and her eyes went like this o_0. So she said she wanted to check things out, and went on to talk about when we were going to take the stitch out.

Apparently they can take it out at the office, if its not too embedded. yay....(dont like thinking about the term "embedded") So after measuring the baby, and listening to his heart rate (which is all good), she poked around to see if she could find the knot of the cerclage stitch. That was not pleasant, but it does look a little embedded to her. Grrreat....

She explained that if its too embedded, they'll need to book me into the hospital in the next week or 2 to get it out with a spinal block in place. Not the things I wanted to hear. The last thing I wanted was another epidural procedure, and hospital time. So if it has to happen, it has to happen. I'd like to kill 2 birds with one stone if possible and see about just getting the c-section done at the same time then. That's something I've got to discuss with her though.


Feeling: not so happy. I really didnt like the news about the possibilities of 2 hospital visits in the last few weeks of this pregnancy. I'm now dreading my next appointment, and at the same time, I just want to get it over with. I'm also feeling a little more excited now, knowing that this guy only has 4 weeks max left to be a guest in my belly. I'd like to have my body back to myself, and be able to enjoy this little guy on the outside.

So that's all for this tired momma tonight.

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Previous baby updates:

[baby update] week 33
[baby update] week 31
[baby update] week 29
[baby update] week 27
[baby update] week 26
[baby update] week 25
[baby update] week 24
[baby update] week 22
[baby update] week 22 + Surgery
[baby update] week 21

[baby update] week 33

So my doctors appointment went well today. Very well despite the fact that I was late by half an hour because I wrote down the wrong time. Oh well, it wont happen again I swear, even if it means perminate markering it on my body somewhere.

So besides being late, things are looking good. Baby measures exactly 33 weeks as far as size, so hes right on the money again. Ultrasound tech said hes roughly 4.5 lbs now (give or take). Ultrasound looks good. I can stay home for until this little guy is out, and that's wonderful news, especially to Tony. While I was gone, he started working later hours just because he hated going home to an empty house just to be lonely.

My doctor might just take out the cerclage a few weeks early if its not too too embedded in there. I cringe a little thinking about it being embedded...ew yuck, and maybe painful :( I'll cross that bridge when I get to it though, and she might do at our last appointment, maybe. The best news yet is the c-section is scheduled, and coincidentally, its on my dads birthday (sorry, its Aug 23rd). The end is in sight!

Feeling: Anxious, worried about getting into the swing of things with 2 kids. I will be away from Vancouver after having the little boy as its gonna take 6 weeks ish to recover. I say 6 weeks ish only because I dont want to be away that long, and I hate thinking about Tony being away from his babies for so long.

Also feeling so excited to be at the end of this. I have 2 doctors appointments left before the big day, and that is awesome.

Cravings: Been on a sugar high lately. I love icy cold sweet things like smoothies and popsicles.

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Previous baby updates:

[baby update] week 31
[baby update] week 29
[baby update] week 27
[baby update] week 26
[baby update] week 25
[baby update] week 24
[baby update] week 22
[baby update] week 22 + Surgery
[baby update] week 21

[baby update] week 31

Its kind of surreal that in 9 weeks (or maybe less) we will have 2 babies!

This week I wasnt able to make it to my ultrasound, but it was ok with my doctor. I had the dreaded glucose test. I got a phone call 2 days later telling me I failed, and that I should go in for the 2 hour test. Gross. I had to do the same thing with Sadie, and I dont remember it being super fun. In order to get that stupid sucker down under the 5 minute deadline, I had to bounce a little up and down in my seat to jiggle it down. I made the nurse laugh. I guess its a good way for her to start her morning. In the end, I passed the 2 hour test. Same results as I had with Sadie.

So I had my doctors appointment in Vancouver, and it went really well. Everything looks good, baby is measuring exactly as he should be. She thought he was breech - but when she ultrasounded me there on her tiny ultrasound machine, she found out that it was just his big bum. Yes...I'm sure he has a big bum, he probably takes after his momma. I can feel it shifting from side to side when he gets antsy. She said that by 34 weeks I can most likely stay in Vancouver because things are looking so good. Tony is so excited. I feel so bad for him, being alone all week long.

Heartburn/Gallbladder attack: Haven't had issues with heartburn yet. Been taking my acid reducers every once and a while just when I think my food will cause issues,  and I dont eat before bed at all.

Cravings: mmm icy cold watermelon, ice cream, semi frozen juice boxes - I'm all for things being super cold, and its not even summer (well it is, it just doesn't feel like it)

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Previous baby updates:

[baby update] week 29
[baby update] week 27
[baby update] week 26
[baby update] week 25
[baby update] week 24
[baby update] week 22
[baby update] week 22 + Surgery
[baby update] week 21

[baby update] week 29

Due to the craziness that was downtown Vancouver, I was a little late for my doctors appointment, and that meant no starbucks treat for me- boo.

So todays appointment went well. Nothing crazy happening other than feeling some pressure every once and a while from baby's big head. Ultrasounds are looking good, things are holding (as far as the stitch is concerned). I asked her about coming home, and that was a no. Can't come home until the baby is almost all the way baked, so that will be when baby turns 34-35 weeks. Super unhappy about that, but I kinda figured she'd make me wait. Tony was sad, but he understands. So little boy will bake away, I still have ultrasounds every 2 weeks, and same with my doctors appointments.

This little bunny was so good for us today. She woke up from her nap super sassy and full of energy.

How was your day today?
 ---------------------

Previous baby updates:

[baby update] week 27
[baby update] week 26
[baby update] week 25
[baby update] week 24
[baby update] week 22
[baby update] week 22 + Surgery
[baby update] week 21

[baby update] week 27

So I mentioned in my last baby update that I had an ultrasound that I wasnt too happy with. Well, no calls from the doctor = less worrying about it. Doctor seemed pleased with results when I saw her on the 30th. She said that my cervix shortened a little, but its not something to be too concerned about with it right now.  My weight gain is good right now, its not too too crazy (less greasy food, and more fruits has helped a lot), and baby is moving a ton.

A funny thing happened while Tony and I were waiting in the exam room. We were in a new exam room. It had big tack boards all over with pictures of babies that were delivered by the doctors that share the office. So we were just browsing the boards, checking out the weird babies, fat babies, and multiple sets of twins when I spotted IT.

"TONY CHECK IT OUT!" and as I pointed at the baby, I touched him across the stomach. He spazzed and jumped back in horror. "ITS LOOKING AT ME!" I found a picture of a c-section baby, just the head emerging from a crazy belly opening. Gruesome...

So we're not having pictures of that. Not gonna happen, and I dont care if someone else did it, or let their husbad look past the curtain, its not happening with any of our babies.

I also asked the doctor again about c-section vs vbac birth. She mentioned last time that it wasnt a good idea, but I wanted to know how high the risk was of my uterus tearing during delivery. Apparently babies that are more than 18 months apart or more, the risk is 1/200. 2 years is the best amount of time to wait. Anything less than 18 months is very dangerous to both me and baby. She has seen 4 cases where the uterus tore, and she said the outcome was bad for both mom and baby. She said best thing for me is to do a c-section again. So it will be scheduled for a week before my due date, and if I go into labour earlier, its an emergency c-section instead.

I'm trying not to be disappointed, especially because this is best for all of us. Recovery is going to be longer and harder with 2 little ones, but we will figure something out. It limits the amount of kids that we can have in the end, but we just want a healthy baby.
 ------------------------

Previous baby updates:

[baby update] week 26
[baby update] week 25
[baby update] week 24
[baby update] week 22
[baby update] week 22 + Surgery
[baby update] week 21

[baby update] 25 weeks + baby bump

I figured while I was brushing my teeth, it was time to take a baby bump photo. This was the best I could do given that I was using my iphone and take terrible self portraits.

Hes been quite kicky lately. He likes it when I lay on my side. It seems that when I am on my side, he lays sideways and moves all over the place.

Yesterday was my ultrasound, and so far they think it went well. Everything is showing closed. YAY! Maybe by my next appointment I can do more moving around. Yesterday was my first day out of the house in forever, and it was the nicest day. Sunny, warm, windy, all my favorite things! We even stopped to get veggies on the way home from a veggie fruit stand, and I cheated and walked around just a little. Oh it felt wonderful.

Im back to resting now. Have some craft things and momma is off to the store to get me some supplies.
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Previous baby updates:

[baby update] week 24
[baby update] week 22
[baby update] week 22 + Surgery
[baby update] week 21

we've made it 24 weeks baby!

We're not out of the woods yet, but its one of those milestones that we needed to make with this pregnancy. The point of viability! I'm very relieved that we've made it this far and not had any preterm labour.

So far things look good, baby is good and healthy, and my last doctors appointment went really well. Cervix is staying closed, and I'm hopeful to start doing more activity maybe after my next appointment, but we'll see. My next appointment is a day before Tony's graduation ceremony, so maybe my doctor will let me go if I use a wheelchair.

This week was great.We havent been up to much, but we managed to dress Sadie up in her easter dress that I didnt get to use. The family took her to church on Mothers day, and Tony and I stayed home and relaxed sans everyone and baby.  Mothers Day was so nice.  Tony went out with my sisters and brought back such wonderful treats. He brought home roses and my favorite candies from the english sweet shop.
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Previous baby updates:

[baby update] week 22
[baby update] week 22 + Surgery
[baby update] week 21

[baby update] 22 weeks

(left to right: bonbons from momma, bed rest / watching the boy kick, victory breakfast after being discharged from the hospital, almost done Sadie's blanket)

Taking it week by week is how things are going to go now for this baby. This morning we met with my new doctor (who awesomely enough, shares an office with the surgeon that did my cerclage). She knows whats going on, and said best thing is to take things week by week. So for the first few weeks, I'll probably been in every week or 2 for exams and such. She said its still a high risk pregnancy, and there's still the risk of pre term delivery. So I'm on bed rest for now until things look like they will hold out well. Its all about keeping the weight of the baby off my cervix. Lets also hope this baby stays kinda small to make it further along.

Due to the fact that these babies are both so close together, she recommended a c-section with this one. A little disappointing, but oh well. I'm not looking forward to the surgery or recovery, but I know what to expect, so thats better than before.

Gonna look for preemie onsies (just a few) and a sleeper, cause this little boy will probably be an early birdie.
--------------------------

Previous baby updates:

[baby update] week 22 + Surgery
[baby update] week 21

[baby update] week 21

After a weekend of relaxing and being a slug it was time to see my doctor. After having an appointment with a substitute doctor (mine was on vacation) and 2 ultrasounds, mine was back. She looked at me right away and said "You need to be on bed rest. You cannot pick up your baby, go shopping or walking." Basically the pressure of the baby's head on my cervix while walking, or carrying things would cause my cervix to open,  and preterm labor.  No stitches cause my cervix isn't open, but I didn't want those anyways. I'd like to avoid surgery as long as I can.

I don't think its fully set in yet. I had to break the news to Tony on a short phone call 30 minutes before his last exam.  Don't worry, the news didn't affect his exam, he thinks he did well despite that. I dont think the news has sunk in fully yet, for me or for Tony.

It does mean that I will most likely be living in chilliwack for the next 4 months ish until this baby arrives. Tony and I need to see how that will work though.

Moving is probably postponed until July or August. Its pointless to pay for 2 bedrooms when only Tony is living there. I'd like to move before baby #2 arrives, but now we don't know when that will be really. I think its likely that he wont make it to full term, but you never know.

So being that I'm a sloth for the next 4 months ish, I will be online more, with nothing to do. I'm confident that I can finish Sadie's blanket before her birthday now. Probably finish baby #2's blanket before hes out too. Gotta send someone out to find me yarn. That will be a challenge, but I'm pretty sure I know the colours I want for him.

I miss Tony.

[baby update] week 20 - Perspective

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the whole birth / delivery process. It scares me. I'm not one for hospitals, needles, invasive procedures anything that that involves me at a hospital. So having kids, ya...forces me to try and deal with these thoughts. I deal with them by getting super emotional and usually crying.

As of yesterday, I don't think that whole Birth / Delivery part scares me as much. Things have been put into perspective. Other thoughts swirl around in my head now. I shall explain.

Yesterday I went for my regular doctors appointment. Things were looking good, only gained 1 lb (yay) and I was feeling fine. The concern is now my cervix. My ultrasound results showed a shortened cervix. I don't know why its like that, there are a few explanations, but I didn't ask cause I was a little stunned when I heard things like "preterm labor" "possible bed rest" "referral to another doctor". So things are not happy happy. In fact, I went home and looked up things like shortened cervix, and there are ways to try and prevent pre term labor, one involves stitching it shut or together, another involves bed rest. Anyways, so before the end of my appointment, the doctor made sure that I knew to call them right away if I went into labor in the next few weeks, or had bleeding or pain.

So its possible that the preterm labor can happen any time now. I'm getting another ultrasound done, and going to another doctor in 2 weeks, and then to my doctor in 4 weeks.


So I've cried a lot, and then get mad that I'm crying. Then I try and relax. Been sitting on the couch doing crochet work for Sadie's blanket. Hopefully I can start putting it together in a week.

I've put away the exercise dvds, and am just being a couch potato. Thinking about planning some time away from the house, but nothing crazy. Planning to send pee wee for a sleep over at grandmas. Drinking tons of water and eating more take out crap.

So that's all for now.